


Thanus

by bootlegbucky (BootlegAvengers)



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Endgame, Spoilers for Endgame, thanus comes to life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:53:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18842149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BootlegAvengers/pseuds/bootlegbucky
Summary: Scott Lang defeats Thanos by entering his rectum.





	Thanus

The portals Doctor Strange opened allowed the dusted Avengers to reemerge in the fight for the lives of everyone in the universe. T'Challa clawed his way through enemies. Tony blasted his foes. Steve wielded Mjolnir. Spider-Man flung threw the skies. "What was he swinging on?" Scott Lang wondered, 60 feet tall, stepping on the bad guys with his giant feet.

He looked down to see the damage that was happening below him. The sight was horrific; all of his friends fighting a giant alien army and losing spectacularly. He knew he had to do something before it was too late. He scanned the battle and found Thanos fighting to get his gauntlet back. If he could defeat Thanos.. he could save the universe.

"Then everyone would want to take their pictures with me," Scott said to himself. "Take that, Bruce."

He began walking towards Thanos. "I can crush him!" He thought. Alas, Thanos saw him coming, and easily dodged Scotts moves. In ways I cannot explain, Thanos kicked Scott in his giant leg powerfully enough and he fell to the ground.

"Crap!" Scott yelled as aliens began to crawl onto his body and punch him. Scott quickly began to shrink back into a normal sized man. He had to think.. and he had to think _fast_. He needed to find a way to sneak up on Thanos  _and_ quickly and efficiently defeat him. Suddenly a light-bulb went off in his head. He found Thanos again and smiled.

"Ive got you now, buddy," he said as he shrunk again into a speck. He ran towards Thanos, completely unseen. He placed himself underneath Thanos' legs. He looked straight up at his asshole.

"You can do this," Scott said to pump himself up. "Just hold your breath."

He jumped up and aimed directly for the hole. When he got himself placed between the right and left butt cheeks, he discovered that Thanos was clenching. He was clenching _hard_. His asshole was inaccessible. He starting punching the rectum hoping Thanos would unclench himself and allow Scott to crawl inside. Thanos twitched a little, wondering why his asshole slightly tickled. Thanos reached his hand inside his butt to feel what was going on. He was surprised to feel something push his hand away. He immediately knew it was Scott. Thanos now had a plan.

"Get out of there!" Thanos screamed as he let out a giant fart. Inside his ass, Scott held onto the butt as he almost flew away from the farts strong winds.

"Ahhhhh," Scott yelled because of the wind and the smell. He firmly kept his position and began trying to crawl inside even more.

"Get out!!" Thanos yelled again, continuing to let out the most powerful farts you've ever heard.

"What the hell is he doing?" Tony Stark asked, watching Thanos scream and fart uncontrollably. Scott noticed that as Thanos would fart, his rectum would open enough to allow room for him to get inside. He fought against the powerful wind and he got himself in the anus. Thanos felt it, and decided to take new measures to get Scott out. He pushed as hard as he could and a giant purple turd began rolling towards Scott.

"Oh. My. God," Scott froze. The sheer size of this thing would be big even if Scott was regular sized. He began to fumble around with his equipment. The turd was inching closer by the second.

"I got you now," Thanos cackled as the turd started to crown from his ass. Tony was still watching, mesmerized by what he was witnessing. Suddenly, Thanos exploded, body parts going everywhere. His head landed in Tonys arms. Scott Lang appeared covered in purple turds and blood.

"That was the scariest thing I've ever seen," he whimpered. Every single Avenger was staring at Scott in silence. Thanos' army surrendered. They had all the stones back. Tony dropped Thanos' head and began to clap. Slowly the rest of the team clapped with him. They began to cheer and yell Scotts name. Peter lifted Scott in the air so he could crowd surf.

"Uh, I wouldn't do that if I were-" Scott started, but they all did it anyway. One by one they crowd surfed Scott, all touching the feces of Thanos. He shrugged and began to cheer for himself along with everyone else.

Scott Lang had saved the universe.


End file.
